My parents had been suspicious when I wanted to stop eating meat in 8th grade. My dad had required me to research vegetarianism and make a list of possible health benefits and possible harm from eliminating meat from my diet before I was allowed to make the change. In the end, my argument was persuasive enough to convince them that it was possible to stay healthy without eating meat.

I wasn't a strict vegetarian, because I still ate eggs, cheese, and milk. By the fall of my sophomore year, however, I ate very little of anything with fat content. Even though I technically ate cheese, I would only eat it if it were part of a meal; even then, I would eat as little as I possibly could. I was developing a full-fledged fear of fat- both in food and on my body.

(The rules that one "comes up" with while slowly starving to death are as illogical as running a marathon without drinking any water. Everyone knows that if you go running for that long of a distance, you need water. Likewise, everyone knows that if you are going to live, you need to eat. What you eat, how you eat, and what you think about when you're not eating are all completely up to you. When you have an eating disorder, you think those things are up to you, but you are greatly deceived.)

I was out in the garage one evening that fall (1999) when my parents came to me and said they wanted me to come inside and step on the scale. Quite a few of our friends and family members had made comments to them about how frail I looked, but I wasn't expecting a scale show-down. Even though I tried to play it cool, I was panicking on the inside. Numbers don't lie, and I knew if they saw the number, they would freak out. My already-obvious secret was about to be exposed.

When I stepped on the scale, I could feel the atmosphere change. I remember being content with what I saw, but it was plain that my reaction was not the consensus in the room. They were probably wanting to cry or scream at that point, like what are you doing to yourself?!?! But they handled it really calmly and I think I went back outside.

That was the start of a series of appointments and tests to assess what was going on. I will pick up there next time. Nos vemos. ;)