If I were being graded on composition, this paper might get
a C+.
Thankfully, I’ve escaped that system!
Over the past few years, I’ve learned to measure
intimidation with a renewed perspective.
Intimidation can be a positive means to a successful goal, much
like competition. (Don’t worry, I won’t go into my tirade on the impressive shortfalls
of limiting competition to sports.) Intimidation and competition, when based on
an eternal perspective rooted in love, can be both good and necessary. When they
are used to control, manipulate, discourage, do harm, etc., that is out of the
scope of this post. I’ll leave that for another day. Or perhaps I’ll never get
to it. 😉
Often, when I meet someone I find intimidating, it is
because they have paid a price to overcome a battle that I am still fighting. Something
deep inside me responds to this truth, and essentially says, “Oh, crap.” As in,
‘oh, crap, I’ve been caught staying up past my bedtime.’ Or, ‘oh, crap, I broke
a glass in the kitchen.’ Or, ‘Ah! I replied all!!!’
The intimidation I feel from those who have gone before me
and paid the price brings godly conviction that prompts me to learn and grow.
It also motivates me to find words to describe what’s going on inside.
It’s a spiritual response in me to the strength I recognize
in them. It spurns curiosity and brings me to an (almost) unhealthy obsession
with finding out what makes them tick. Typically, I find out that these “intimidators”
have a relationship with Jesus. This is how I’ve concluded that my response is spiritual,
not emotional, and it has eternal motives.
The dictionary tells me the root of intimidation is fear. I
know there is good fear and bad fear. The fear of God is the best fear, because
He is perfect love, and perfect love casts out fear. So the more I fear Him,
the more I love Him and others, and the less afraid I am. And when I meet
someone who frightens me (again, not in an abusive or hurtful way) and I just
can’t shake it, it means I’ve got some work to do.
Perhaps a better word than intimidation is cultivation.
Inside, I feel like a plot of land, and the cultivating
individuals who come across my path see soil with potential. Yes, tilling
hurts, but it allows seeds to be planted. I see the “intimidating” individuals there
with shovels and trowels, perfectly placed in their hands to reap the greatest
benefit.
And what I have slowly learned is to embrace the
cultivation. I embrace it like a fluffy puppy.
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