It's confession time: I work for an insurance company.  My bio explains how I feel about my job- I never thought I would ever work in this type of environment, BUT I am starting to like it.  I was angry at God for roughly 2 years after jumping into this line of work, because I was prideful.  I still am kind of prideful if I am being honest.  I was angry because I thought was too good for a desk job.  I thought sitting in front of a computer all day was beneath me.  I was wrong though, because it sits in front of me.

Bills are a never-ending part of life, so having a job is a necessity.  Are you with me so far?  Bills aren't cool, but certain jobs are cool.  If certain jobs are cool, then other jobs fall into the not-cool category by default.  The jobs that fell into my cool category were/are band teacher, pediatrician, stay at home mom, artist, missionary, wilderness therapist, and musician.  I think they explain themselves.

Uncool jobs: anything that involves a cubicle and a computer.

 Having officially obtained work in the uncool category by the age of 26, I labeled myself a failure.  Did it matter to me that the Lord had been setting up this job for me long before I was old enough to complain? Nah.  Did it change my mind to know that the King of Kings cared enough to place me where I needed to be instead of where I wanted to be?  Hardly.

 I've probably done enough complaining in the past 3 years to warrant about 19,574 slaps on the face.  (or maybe more. ) It's really pathetic to think of all the air I wasted with my opinions and my judgments about how unfair and boring my life was.

 The curious part about the whole thing, about sitting in front of a computer, feeling like my life has no significance day after day, is that I've probably matured more in the past 3 years than the previous 27 years of my life.  I've devoted all my time and energy to learning how to enter insurance applications into the system we use, processing the applications, looking behind the scenes to see how things work, teaching others how to process insurance applications, and doing all the boring things in between.  If I were to write my autobiography at this point, there would be a lot of chapters spent on insurance topics, and no one would buy my book.

The people who know me really well know that even though I wrote the previous paragraph about how mature I am now, I still am mostly a goofball, and about 50% of my daily verbalizations are giggles.  Real mature there, Bucko.

 Having said all of that, the people I work with probably have no clue the amount of transformation that has occurred in my mind while I have been sitting around, talking about insurance for the past 3 years.  "Hey, did you know I was afraid to take this job because I thought I would get fat if I sat on my butt all day?"  "Did you know that processing applications is therapeutic? My Physician prescribed it, and I thought He was nuts.  It turns out He was right!"

Where am I going with all of this info?  It's eating disorder awareness week/month/week-plus-a-few-days at some point in February, depending on which website you look at.  The people around me who have been with me on the last leg of this journey weren't even aware that I had an eating disorder, or that I was struggling with it while sitting next to them. 

But Jesus was aware, and He has my back.  No matter what month it is, what week, or what week plus a few days it is, Jesus Christ is aware of every issue in the hearts and minds of each one of us.  His love is everlasting, and that's the kind of insurance that money just can't buy.  I've got better coverage than I could have imagined- a free heart transplant, a transformed mind, a full-time Counselor, and eternal care. 

Resting well,
Allie