February feels like a lifetime ago.
I have a list of monthly goals on my cubicle wall at work. My goals for May were to breathe clean ocean air and have a stellar birthday. Check. I did not intend to take a break from writing during the past months (it was not on my goal list).
I had a lot of time to reflect on life while I was on the coast, and God gave me a freshly grateful heart for where He has taken me and where He has ultimately planted me since I first walked on the Oregon coast in 2002.
I've been back in North Dakota for two entire months now, and it is amazing how quickly that gratefulness wears off and the doubts come in again; doubts over the complexity of life, the constant striving, and the weight of the world. I feel light when I am outside, stepping on the sand, getting sprayed with ocean mist, watching the clouds move with the wind.
I start to feel a death when I am inside too much. I get weighed down, separated from God's creation and the breath of the Holy Spirit. Immune to the power of Jesus.
I went for a bike ride tonight, and it refreshed me. Being out in the open, I felt my heart soften again. I heard the still small voice of the Lord give direction on how to reconcile a personal situation. I felt some of the weight lift off my shoulders. It's a good feeling!
The sun was intensely bright, the breeze was soft and cool, and the evening was lazy and restful. No pressure, no schedule, no rush. I drank it in deeply.
Here's to Sunday evenings, and vacationing only minutes from home.